In his Letters to Marc, Henri Nouwen says, “Success has isolated a lot of people and made them lonely. It seems sometimes as though meetings between people generally happen on the way to something or someone else.”

We live in a world where we’re all on our way to something else and someone else.

Just last month I asked Judy if there was any way I could love her better. She didn’t hesitate. “Yes, Eddie. You could put up that stupid iphone. Sometimes I feel that I’d get more of your attention if I were an app on your iphone”

Ouch!

It’s true, isn’t it? We’re hardly ever present with the one we’re with. We’re always on our way to someone else or something else.

The message to our hearts from early on is, “Nobody really has time for me. They’re all on their way to someone else or something else more important than me.”

“Stop interrupting me, can’t you see I’m on the phone…or watching the game…or on the computer? Go in your room and play, or put on a video. Just find something to do!”

Message to child? “I’m on my way to someone or something more important than you.

Those messages just keep on coming for the rest of our lives.

And then we meet Jesus.

Who is never in a hurry, never preoccupied, never impatient.

In fact, what He wants most of all is to spend time with us.

He gathers us in communities called churches.

And what do we do?

We turn church into the busiest place on earth where everyone is on their way to something or someone else…more important, more spiritual, more significant, more worthy of my time.

Just one more place where lonely people gather wondering, “Does anyone have an app for me?”

“Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had” (Philippians 2:3-5).

Question: Can you remember a time when you felt alone and isolated at church? What would you have wanted to say to your leaders?

If you’re a Christian and you’re honest, there are times when you feel like Jesus has let you down.

We all do. I sure felt like He had let me down when I almost died from this leukemia.

It’s been a number of years since people gathered around my hospital bed with troubled faces and self-conscious words, but I can still feel the desperate sense of betrayal. I can still picture the IV drips plugged into both arms. I can still hear the incessant beeping of the medical apparatus. I can still smell the place. I can still feel the helpless confusion of the moment—too weak to speak, too sad to smile. I can still remember the haunting question, “Why don’t you do something, Lord?”

What I wish I would have known then is what I’m telling you now.

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The Anakim!

General Joshua had a problem. His drive to conquer the land west of the Jordan had stalled at Hebron, the stronghold of the Anakim—the ancient race of giants (Rephaim) who served as mercenaries in the Ancient Near East (Joshua 14). No army could defeat these descendants of the great warrior of Anak (Deuteronomy 9:2). So tall and formidable were these soldiers, that their name and reputation injected panic and flight into the ranks of their enemies.

Joshua’s troops were all in the prime of life, the new generation of Israelites born during the forty years of wandering in the wilderness. All of them, officers and men alike, stood cowering at the base of “Hill Hebron,” staring up at the walled fortifications manned by men twice their size. Each man wished he possessed the courage to take the hill. But these were the giants their fathers had told them about.

The Warrior!

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Not Tonight!

It was the last thing I wanted to do—be around a group of people.

I was bone-tired and emotionally spent. A desperate phone call the night before had left Judy and me sleepless. Two of our very best friends had been killed in a car accident in Oregon. Not only did this news break my heart, it also drained me as it pressurized my insane schedule. Somehow I had to find time to fly to Portland, do a wrenching memorial service, fly home, and get back to everything else I had to do. (On that list was taking my teenage daughter to the DMV for her driving exam.)

“I’m not going to small group tonight,” I reported to Judy. “This is nuts!”

“You don’t have a choice. We’re baptizing Brian and Lori (two new believers) in the pool. Everyone’s expecting us,” my bride protested.

“You go if you want,” I replied. “I’m not going; I have too much to do.” (Though I didn’t say it, I was also thinking that the last thing I wanted to do at that moment was be around a group of people . . . even if it was our church small group.)

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My understanding of the ministry of the Holy Spirit in my life is that when I sin, He makes me miserable.

Not because God’s ticked off at me, but because He’s grieved.

Why is He grieved? Because God’s love always wants what is best for me. And sin never leads to anything good.

So it’s a gift of grace, this misery. It’s God’s tender mercies wooing me back into His love. All  need to do is get honest with Him, and rely on His power to move toward what He knows is good for me.

But it’s still misery.

I can only think of one way to make the misery worse.

To try to take care of your sin by yourself.

There’s no more miserable creature on earth than a Christian with a secret life, who’s trying to fix himself or herself without God and apart from other Christians.

Sleepless in LA

I’m really good at going to sleep. What I’m not good at is staying asleep.

Like you, I have a lot of responsibility, love a lot of people, but have very little control over any of the circumstances of my life concerning those responsibilities and those people I love. Really, when I think about it, I have zero control.

Nevertheless, I live my daylight hours as if I really did have some control. I make leadership decisions after weighing options, form careful sentences to put in sermons, articles, and books, and try to do as much as I can to make the world a better place for the people I love.

And then, I fall into bed exhausted but satisfied with all my illusions of control.

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How’s Your Summer Looking?

Summer’s here! For most of us that means vacations, graduations and weddings. It’s a busy but enjoyable season. But I also know that for the brokenhearted, June isn’t about “fun.” For some, this month isn’t about happy beginnings . . . instead, it’s a month that marks disappointing and heartbreaking endings . . . the wedding anniversary that was supposed to be, or the vacation time that is instead spent at the bedside of a critically-ill loved one.

Heartache and disappointment is a reality of life, and as I join Dennis Rainey on FamilyLife Today this coming week, I’m thinking about hurting individuals across the country. And I’m asking Jesus for the opportunity to encourage them some through my own journey . . . will you join me in prayer that they will be encouraged?

In this 3-part radio series, I’ll share about when I was first diagnosed with a rare lymphoma and how the intense pain and agony of the disease brought me to such a low point that I told my wife I was finished with praying. Personal suffering has a way of challenging our faith . . . even if you’re a pastor. And yet, a revelation from God’s Word changed my heart and life forever.

If you or someone you know is going through their own valley right now, listen to FamilyLife Today this week on June 10th, 11th and 12th. I believe it will comfort your broken heart, inspire you to ask Jesus for the impossible, and discover a God whose heart breaks with yours.

Click here to listen on-line or to find a radio station in your area that airs FamilyLife Today: http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3469313/k.93D4/Find_a_station.htm

My Daily Battle

Most of the time I’m fine with the “big” temptations like stealing and murder. I’ve felt like murdering a few petty, controlling, divisive, and mean Christians over the years, but never actually contemplated the act. The last time I actually stole something I was 18. So I’ve been doing pretty good in the murder/stealing category of sins for over forty years.

Yet hardly a day goes by that I don’t struggle with the sins of dissatisfaction and disappointment. Suddenly I realize that here I am again, dissatisfied with God’s provision or disappointed in His plan. The realization usually comes through one of my famous “if-only” thoughts or sentences.

The “If-Only” Sins

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Looking for a friend?

If you’re looking for that friendship that is totally fulfilling, you need to know that you won’t find it this side of heaven.

On the other side of that barrier is the only One who will not disappoint you, the only One who is always thinking about you and never of Himself, the only One who doesn’t need you.

His name is Jesus.

Friendship:

Since no one thinks about you much,

Unless they need you.

Relate deeply to Jesus;

Expect Him alone to meet your deepest needs.