Most mornings I fill out at least one page of my trusty Mead Notebook, add a few specific prayer requests to my prayer log, and grudgingly close my journal when it’s time to start my day.
But, melancholy depresso that I am, some mornings it’s jut not in me.
After I wore myself out guilting and shaming over what a sorry Christian I am and wondering why I can’t just be Spirit-filled-happy-jounaler-guy, I decided to just be honest with Jesus.⇦Tweet that!
But I always record it:
Not Today, Lord
I think it was the year I almost died from this disease that I decided to stop trying to impress Jesus with what isn’t true about me.
So I just sit and stare at those words.
Not Today, Lord.
And then, I hear Him say, “That’s okay, Eddie (I always picture Him calling me Eddie). I love you. I know you’re worn out. I even know what it feels like. Remember, I walked among you. You just sit there and think about me. Think about my love for you. Think about how I’ve promised to care for you. Think about the fact that when I died for you I knew you weren’t going to have words to write in your journal today.”
Sometimes it turns into a worship service. Just me, Jesus, and His love and grace.
Questions: Ever had one of those worship services? When Jesus meets you in your depression and says, “I love you”?