My Post from the Year I Survived Cancer…
From My Journal, Four days before Christmas, 2001.
I should be talking with my son and his wife about their life, their dreams, and the joy of the holidays. That’s what we usually do when they fly home from their military duty station somewhere in the world. Any other year our conversation this morning would revolve around the soon arrival of his sister’s family from Oregon, and how great it’s going to be to spend Christmas just being together with the extended family
But not this year.
This is my first Christmas as the dad and grandfather formerly known as myself. This Christmas, all we’re talking about is my deadly disease–my rash, the test results, the next specialist, what we’re discovering on the Web about chronic lymphoma, and the gloomy prognosis. I’m sick of talking about me and this disease. And it feels like Christmas will never be the same.
Because it won’t. Unless God heals me, life has ruled out that option of normalcy for our family.
Those were my words then, and of course I’m thankful that sixteen years later I’m still living and serving. But this blog is about you, not me.
If This is Your Cancer Christmas…
This blog caught your attention because you know that Christmas for you or someone you love will never be the same…after the divorce, after you buried the one it feels like you can’t live without, after you lost your job, after your child ran away.
I know that living with hope in your heart through the holidays is tough. It’s been over twelve years since my initial diagnosis. Sometimes I still feel like giving up. There are nights when the physical and emotional tolls of this disease break my heart a little more and make it hard for me to even think about getting up to face another day…especially during Christmas.
I don’t know all of the pain of your personal life and why you dread Christmas this year, but I do know some of it. I wrote a book–When God Breaks Your Heart
–to help you see how God’s love for you can define your life, even when your heart is broken.
Christmases will come and go; life changes. Trust me, I know. But I also know that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13;5).
Question: Is this a year you know your Christmas will be different due to pain and suffering? How can I pray for you?