Cancer Hospital Waiting Room
We’re gathered together in a room nobody wants to sit in—the waiting room of the USC Norris Cancer Center’s Outpatient Clinic. What we have in common is our deadly diagnosis, and our bandaged arms from the blood test our oncologist will read.
I remember well the first time I took my seat in this very room eight years ago. So weak I could barely walk and so embarrassed by my grotesque appearance, the emotions of actually being a cancer patient overwhelmed me. Judy had to support me—both physically and emotionally—when I tried to cross the street from the “regular” hospital to the cancer hospital.
Surveying the room this morning, I can see the despair in the eyes of the first-timers. They’re still either reeling from or resisting the idea that they belong here with people like me—people with cancer or lymphoma. They never imagined life could be so hard, so hurtful, so hopeless.
I want to tell them about the One who sits next to me today in this room of despair—the same One who sat with me eight years ago and every visit since. The One who is always with me whispering words of comfort and hope into my life.
His name is Jesus.
Your Room of Despair?
There’s no way to avoid life’s rooms of despair, the places where those who just received devastating news gather:
“We’re going to have to let you go.”
“You’re being sued.”
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident.”
“We’ve lost everything.”
“I’ve been unfaithful to you.”
“Your child will not live.”
“I don’t love you anymore.”
“It’s cancer.”
But there is Someone who will take your hand and never let go…–especially in your room of despair.
His name is Jesus.
“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” –Jesus Christ, Hebrews 13:5
Thanks so much for the post and reminder, Pastor Ed. It reminds me of my diagnosis of multiple sclerosis and my dad’s diagnosis of cancer. It is at times like these where we have to hold on to something that is immovable. Jesus Christ is the rock of our salvation and the rock we can cling to in these troubling times.
Thank you so very much for your book. I am living in hurt beyond hope at the moment. My husband had his radio on last night and I got to hear your interview on Family Life. I don’t ever listen to sermons on the radio but you had my attention once I heard the title. I have been so very afraid to say out loud the very questions you write about. My skin isn’t falling off but my mind and emotional health are in the same condition as your body was. I am so grateful you have given this book to me. Thank you. Thank you. I am not alone and it is such a relief. My suffering may not be healed but I pray and beg that God will use it some how for His glory. Thank you again.
Thanks for the reply, Darrell. It is true that He is our only sure Sustainer. Is this the Darrell from SoCal?
Thanks for the kind remarks. I pray the message of my little book will help you in some small way.
Trying to order your book. I have been in chronic severe pain post mastectomy for breast cancer 2 yrs ago. Not all Christians can even begin to understand the level of
physical pain and the impact of this and concomitant lack of sleep on the human body. Most humans need restorative sleep every 24 hrs or they get cranky or out of sorts. I too have gotten to despairing of life…there are deep struggles of faith. I could resonate with many things you felt…as an earthly parent, I would extend grace and mercy to my children & I am a flawed, fallible human being. I have continued to work through all the pain & sleeplessness for financial reasons (I carry the health care plan…provided I work).
Thank u for being honest w Christians who are not aware or have yet to be tested by walking this path. I am scheduled for a 4th critical surgery next week that may remove pain & restore the quality of my life. If God can set other prisoners free (eg…addictions, infidelity and other self-made situations) surely he can slat ” my Goliath” as we’ll. thanks!!!
I prayed for you just now, Carol. Thank for the comment.
Ed
Dear Ed—my “miracle” surgery 3 months ago produced minimal results & I am discouraged. How do u maintain the quality of life when the pain is severe & there is nothing that the smartest surgeons can give me & creates insomnia? I am in a vicious circle that has no end. I have no strength to work but I do. Like King David, my tears are my food day and night. How do I accept that this is God ‘s “best” for my life? This has yet to be the message of Jer 29:11 or Eph 3:20. I don’t believe taking medical marijuana or Methadone (heroing derivative) is a “miracle.” Struggling so much! Is this my only choice???
I’m so sorry for your malaise, Carol. I don’t have magic words, but I do recommend that you cling to Jesus in the pain. There is mystery in our relationship with God and this mystery is the most unsettling for us with chronic diseases and pain.