Sticks and Stones
Posted on Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
Really?
Then why did one of the most successful and spiritual men I have ever known repeat these words every time he tripped, dropped an item, or bumped into something when he was in his seventies—“My dad always told me I was a klutz”?
And why have Judy and I found it impossible to reprogram the thinking of some of the most attractive and accomplished women who explain the logic of their low self esteem with sentences like these—“My father said that my sister got all the beauty and brains in our family” or “My husband constantly tells me that he wishes I would be as in shape, as articulate, as fashionable, or as sexy as his friends’ wives”?
Yes They Will!
If your view of life is based on this world’s reasoning, you might agree with this little nugget of so-called truth people have been saying and believing through generations of hopelessness and hurt, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
But if your view of life is based on God’s wisdom, you vehemently disagree with its message.
Proverbs says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit”(18:21).
Jesus taught that evil words—self-serving lies, slander, boasting, flattery, murmurings, and contentions—come from an evil heart, but good words—other-centered expressions of love, care, encouragement, confronting, and healing—come from a good heart. “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:43-45)
Truly wise people never underestimate the power of their words because they know that words can penetrate the soul and last a lifetime.
The thing about words is that you can’t take them back.
Words Wound for Life!
I’m sure that my friend’s godly father would have never called him a klutz if he would have known that his son would forever define himself as a klutz, no matter how great his accomplishments in life or how deep his walk with the Lord Jesus.
I’m not sure what the fathers of these little girls were thinking when they diminished their feminine soul, but I am sure that these demeaning husbands knew exactly what they were doing when they destroyed their wives self-esteem.
If you’re like me, you’re thinking of all the horrible things you’ve said to your spouse, your children, or a good friend and you’re wishing that there was some way you could take those words back.
You can’t. But you can repent and start sending new messages into their heart—messages that encourage rather than discourage, words that build up rather than tear down, words that encourage them to walk with God, even when life is tough.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21).
