Sleepless Nights
Posted on Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
I fight an almost nightly battle that you might find a little too familiar. My mind defaults to the problems and pressures of life the moment I try to relax. Thoughts fly toward worst-case scenarios—what will we do if? Or how will we ever get past that?
When this happens, there’s always one verse that brings me back to the sweet center of trust. Sometimes it even brings a smile just before I doze off.
If you’re wondering, “What could it be that keeps you up at night fretting Ed?” here it is. Please know, I’m not telling you this to show you how difficult my life is. I’m telling you this so that you can know that my life is just like yours. We’re all under pressure and worrying about our families, our friends, and our country; it’s just that we’re worrying about different details and pressures.
These are things that keep me awake:
Our family is facing some things that are out of my control:
• All three of our adult children are dealing with situations or problems that could blow up in their face and bring extreme pain to their lives.
• My mom lives alone in another city and I really don’t know how we’re going to take care of her unless she uproots her life and moves to SoCal.
• There’s always my health! If this disease turns deadly again, I hate to think of Judy moving on in life alone.
Our finances are out of my control:
• We’re in our late fifties and it’s beginning to look like our only retirement plan is to keep working until we drop.
• Church of the Open Door needs more money than I can possibly raise, so we give a lot more than any financial planner would advise for two people our age who have such a lousy retirement plan while we beg God to move in others’ hearts to do as well.
• Over the past few months we’ve been to the doctors about a million times (well, maybe twenty) and we’ve had to call the tow truck to pick up both of our cars, twice!
Our schedule feels out of my control:
• I’m behind in about five writing projects and two church commitments that are due this month.
• When I open my calendar on my computer, I get depressed. Why did I say I would do all these things?
• There are always three or four people who are upset with me because I’m not giving them enough of my time.
Our world is out of control:
• Our country’s at war—a son in the Army and a son-in-law in the FBI—and America doesn’t seem to care. It’s as if 9/11 never happened.
• All the stuff that I’m voting for, the rest of the country is voting against.
• Weird people are popular and esteemed and godly people are unpopular and berated.
Does some of this keep you up at night? Want to know the verse that never fails to help?
“He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it!” (1 Thessalonians 5:24)
Here’s what I know. Next year at this time there’s going to be a whole new set of problems and pressures, but somehow, if I trust Christ and do what He says, life will go on and hope will not fail. Maybe He’ll even use me some…probably more than I know or feel.
Maybe that’s because it really is out of our control, isn’t it?
