What’s Missing?
Posted on Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
A young husband and father with a passion for Christ hung his head as he admitted to me that he just couldn’t lead his family. He wanted to stay at Church of the Open Door. Our unique grace-based culture encouraged the type of truth telling that redeems, releasing Christians to their strengths. He loved it; it was what he was always longed for, and his walk with Christ was thriving.
I Can’t
But it was messy, and his wife wasn’t one for messiness. She had grown up in a button-down, dress-up-for-Jesus church where you put on your very best we-have-it-together-so-don’t-worry-about-us mask every Sunday. When the probing and penetrating grace of God began to expose their stuff, she bolted.
“We’re going back to a real church,” she told him. “A place where people accept us just the way we are!” What her husband and I knew she meant by that was, “A place where people are accepted just as they want people to think they are.”
I told him what he already knew, what we had been talking about for two years. I turned him to passages that clearly taught that God held him accountable for the spiritual well-being of his family, that it was his responsibility to lead them according to his understanding of the Scriptures, and that his love for his wife should be growing her toward authentic maturity in Christ.
He looked up at me and admitted the truth, “I can’t.”
I told him what I really believed at that moment, “Then there’s nothing I can do for you.”
But God Can!
Now I know better. I was limiting myself to what I could do, what I understood about the Scriptures, how I could persuade him to do what the Bible says.
Something was missing, something that should have come first, something we too often overlook.
Something was missing, something we hardly ever forget when we first believe in Jesus, something we overlook when we begin to feel confident in our use of the Scriptures and our Christian skill set.
The same something the overconfident disciples forgot when they were surrounded by enemies and confronted with the dark evil in this world. Before you read on to find out what’s missing from me, turn to Mark 9:14-29. Jesus will tell you what is missing.
If I could do it over again, I would say, “There is a hurt, a deep wound in your bride’s life that has left her so afraid, so unsettled, so suspicious, that she can’t trust grace—from us, from you, but most importantly from God. I don’t know what that is, but God does. You go home right now and tell her, ‘Honey, before we give up on this, please let me lead you in this way: Pray with me, fast with me. Will you trust God and me enough to do that? To fast and pray before His throne of grace? Let’s stop eating, shift our focus away from our physical need to our spiritual need, and get on our knees. Together, let’s beg Him to heal us, to make us one, to give us hope that we can move forward together in Christ.’”
Ask Him!
Would you have to admit that fasting and praying is missing from your walk with Christ? What do you want God to do? Ask Him. Do away with the distraction of food as you kneel at His throne of grace. Fast and pray.
“This kind comes out by nothing but prayer and fasting.” –Jesus Christ, Mark 9:29
